domingo, 13 de marzo de 2011

Además de no funcionar, se auto-jode

Que el comunismo -o socialismo según algunos- no funciona, es una verdad más sólida que el trasero de JO; y no hay nada interesante en reiterarla.
Pero una cosa es no funcionar, y otra es autodestruirse.
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Jugando con el Kindle bajé de Amazón un manual: "Simple Sabotage Field Manual" publicado por la OSS (antecesora de la CIA) en enero de 1944.
El manual se hizo para entrenar a civiles en técnicas de "soft" sabotaje en países ocupados por los nazi-fascistas en la II Guerra Mundial.

Lo irónico es que muchas de estas técnicas de destrucción son un calco de los procedimientos y usos -diarios y normales- en Castrolandia; veamos unos ejemplos:

  • "Workers should be careless with refuse and janitors should be inefficient in cleaning."
  • "Forget to provide paper in toilets;"
  • "Let crops harvest too early or too late."
  • "Spoil fruit and vegetables by leaving them in the sun."
  • "Make train travel as inconvenient as possible..."
  • "Make mistakes in issuing train tickets,"
  • "See that false and misleading information is given about trains bound for..."
  • "attendants should make life as uncomfortable as possible for passengers."
  • "See that the luggage ... is mislaid or unloaded at the wrong stations."
  • "Engineers should see that trains run slow or make unscheduled stops ..."
  • "Bus drivers can go past the stop where the enemy wants to get off."
  • "Taxi drivers can waste the enemy's time and make extra money by driving the longest possible route to his destination".
  • "While loading or unloading, handle cargo carelessly..."
  • "Post office employees can see to it that enemy mail is always delayed..."
  • "Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your points by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate patriotic comments."
  • "When possible, refer all matters to committees for further study and consideration."
  • "Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible."
  • "Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions."
  • "Demand written orders."
  • "Hold conferences when there is more critical work to be done."
  • "Multiply paperwork in plausible ways."
  • "See that three people have to approve everything where one would do."
  • "Apply all regulations to the last letter."
  • "Tell important callers the boss is busy..."
  • "Work slowly."
  • "Contrive as many interruptions to your work as you can."
  • "Report imaginary spies or danger to the Gestapo or police."
  • "Act stupid."
Y esta lista es solo un "pedacito" de los sabotajes ideados por los yumas para hacerle la vida difícil a los enemigos; es la clásica "lima sorda" que poquito a poco hace que nada funcione en el país... Y -gracias al comunismo- es la manera en que "funciona" el Batey de Birania.

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